“I Don’t Know How To Do It On My Own”

I was listening to Supernanny in the background when something caught my attention.

A mum wanted to stop breastfeeding her child.

The child was older, and although breastfeeding had been something meaningful for them, she had reached a point where it was affecting her daily life. She wanted to have time to do other things, including her house duties, but she felt stuck.

She was torn.

She didn’t know how to stop.

She didn’t want her child to feel rejected.

And then she said something that stayed with me:

“I don’t know how to do it on my own.”

There was so much power and vulnerability in that sentence.

Not only did she recognise that she didn’t know the next step — she also recognised that trying to figure it out alone was the challenge.

And that is often the turning point.

Because when we acknowledge:

“I need support.”

we open ourselves up to finding the support we need.

And we also open ourselves up to receiving it.

By the end of the episode, did everything change instantly?

No.

Did it take time?

Yes.

But did she achieve what she wanted?

Yes.

And this is exactly what I see in health coaching.

People come to me because they are stuck.

They know they want to improve their health.

They know what they “should” be doing.

They don’t know how to do it.

And they don’t know how to do it on their own.

Maybe it is:

• improving sleep

• losing weight and keeping it off

• managing work stress

• building healthier boundaries

• creating consistency with habits- movement, reducing sugar/junk intake

• making lifestyle changes that actually fit their life

For something as important as your health, expecting yourself to figure everything out alone can make the journey harder and is not even necessary.

Health coaching is not about someone telling you what to do.

It is a conversation led by you.

For example, in that breastfeeding situation, I wouldn’t start by saying:

“Here is the solution. Do this.”

I would ask:

“When would you like to start?”“What have you tried before?”“What worked?”“What made it difficult?”

Because sometimes the answer is already there"!

Sometimes people remember something they tried before but gave up too quickly.

Sometimes they discover the barrier was not the goal — it was the approach.

Together, we find a strategy that works for them.

They choose the action.

They decide what feels realistic.

Then when we meet again, we look at what happened.

Did it work?

We celebrate the win.

Was it difficult?

We explore why and find another way forward.

That support creates something powerful:

A listening ear.

Someone who helps you connect the dots.

Someone who reminds you of your progress when you can only see the struggle.

Someone who helps you keep going when the mountain feels bigger than expected.

And the amazing thing is this:

The achieved goal is not the only celebration. Other significant intangibles come about.

Confidence grows.

Problem-solving skills grow.

Resilience grows.

The thing that once felt impossible becomes something you overcame.

And with that new confidence, you are ready to approach the next challenge and differently.

This is why I love health coaching.

Because I get to watch people overcome the mountain they thought they could never climb.

So today I want to ask you:

What is the mountain in your life right now that you don’t know how to overcome on your own?

How would it feel to overcome it?